Victoria Writer's Blog

  WATCH YOUR STEP!   I feel like I am under construction.   There's a lot changing around here.Walls are coming down, structures going up, tools being wielded; basically, there is controlled chaos. I love it ! I have shared with several friends recently that I have felt like something is happening with me. I have felt different, and I can't explain why or what it is exactly. I have been feeling an inner strength, but also overwhelmed and vulnerable at the same time. Well, bring it on, Universe! I am more than ready! I feel the Universe is definitely in charge, but I am the one who needs to have the plan ready to set forth. I feel that I do.  I have a plan for my future which becomes clearer with every approaching day. I am taking my time and slowly putting my thoughts ans words into action. The planning itself is tedious and solitary, for I am the only one with the blueprint; it's all in my head only. There is lots of scrapping and starting again....

The ocean represents unfathomable vastness. The shear power that it possesses and its unpredictability frightens me, yet at the same time, it completely fascinates me.   A calmness washes over me w hen I can safely view the ocean from a distance. Physically being on the ocean is a totally different thing; it is something I do not relish.  That's the irony, right there: intensely drawn to something, yet so very wary of it. What's with that?  Why does this issue even exists for me? I don't recall anything bad ever happening to me when I was little in regard to water. Growing up, we hardly ever went to the beach, and hence, explains my lack of enthusiasm for the ocean for most of my life. Now that I have more control over my life and my actions. I am finding that the ocean is what I need most to settle me. Maybe this explains why I crave to be near it now. I love being near the ocean and now live within two miles from it. I can smell the ocean in the air on most day...