The Grey Area

I used to think I was here, you know that spot, the one where people stop and lean for a bit to make decisions. The line where the glass is half full and half empty. The region where there is not defined clarity and where no strong opinion is declared...THE GREY AREA.
 
I often felt that I clearly understood the term "black and white" thinking, with it's all or nothing savoir faire; the correct term being, dichotomous thinking. THE GREY AREA is where I thought I was. I felt sure I was able to interpret anything correctly; that I saw their definitive lines on spectrum and was sure I was in between them and making rational decisions.

I WASN'T.
I'M STILL NOT.
I AM BLACK.
I AM WHITE.

It was brought to my attention that I almost always strongly place myself on one side or the other. I totally miss the ease and flow of THE GREY AREA. Not exactly sure why this is, but I am damn sure I know now that I need to change my of thinking. I see how it has shaped me and I feel the pressure it has put upon me...all self-inflicted, of course.

If I got an A- in a course, I was stupid.
If a man didn't call it, I was unattractive.
If my children struggled, I failed.
If someone I hardly knew didn't like me, it must be my fault.

CRAZY THINKING!

The past several years have been years an awakening for me. I am slowly and ever so surely changing that thinking and better understanding my value and self-worth.  It's taken a while, but I although I may still go straight to BLACK AND WHITE, it's only for brief time period. I am testing out THE GREY AREA and finding myself content here more often than not. 

"G" for grey and for growth and I am growing.

cdl

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