Victoria Writer's Blog

I have to admit, there are times for me over the past few months when I have been completely unfocused. Lately, this has become the norm. I have placed myself in the "entrepreneurial trench", and trust me, there's a lot going on down here! Even though with an image of a trench, one  conjures up thoughts of solitude and isolation, I did not realize how much the outside world would effect my little world down in this proverbial trench...until it did.  I am not only am I working on myself and accepting the changes to myself as they appear, but overall, I am working for change and growth in others apart from me outside my trench. I am working so hard in my little space down here, so that ultimately my "work" touches, shifts, and positively impacts those who need it in my present circle and beyond. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, being in the trenches means a place or situation where people do difficult work. Ya...that would be it; that would also be the Vic...

Did you ever take a good long look at a tree?  Like a really long look?  In trees like the American Oak (there are over two dozen varieties of oak, btw) it almost seems as if their branches defy gravity. How did they get that strong to just grow out horizontally and stay like that for their lifetime?  I'm a nature girl, so I notice these things.  I like to lie down under trees and look up (see inserted photo taken in Burlington, VT at Lake Champlain a few years back). Mother Nature is amazing; I feel blessed to be able to enjoy all that she places in my path. Back to the tree thing. I often run my fingers along tree trunks when I have the opportunity. I am also super tactile and I connect better when I touch. I believe on some level that it helps me understand the world around me better.  The point I am wanting to share with you in regard to tree branches is that not only do they demonstrate strength, but they grow in the manner that allows them to be able...

 I'm not proud to say that this has been an ongoing issue with me...this "putting up a wall thing". However, I am proud to say that I now recognize this about myself and that's a superb start.  As I began to dig deeper into myself over the past eight months and become more connected spiritually with God and also the Universe, I began constructing a whole new type of wall; a transparent one! People (friends and family) could see my actions and my day-to-day, but heavily-weighted opinions were no longer being accepted. Afterall, was my journey, my life.  I began to grow more confident, knowing that my choices in life were solely mine to make. They did not need to be explained to people, or justified. What I was doing was for the betterment of me . . . just  me. I could do this on my own, but if I needed assistance, opinion, or direction, I knew where to turn ( those resources have also shifted).  And no, that doesn't make me selfish; it just mean that I'm now be...

  It happens. When we give ourselves so little self-worth and allow ourselves to be treated with little or no respect. Garbage. When we are lied to, mislead, cheated on, and feel mentally trapped in these feelings. Garbage. We eventually convince ourselves that being treated this way is okay. We simply accept it and begin believe this about ourselves, feeling useless and discarded.  Garbage. We begin to speak this message to ourselves. And we convince ourselves that it's alright to have this mindset, that perhaps somehow we are deserving of this label or, this treatment from someone. What a travesty! Who would allow this?! We shouldn't.  I did. This feeling becomes all encompassing; it alters your behavior. It consumes you without you even realizing it. Almost like wearing a fake smile that you unknowingly flash for people all the time, when inside of you the pain is so real that it feels like it's crushing your heart. Afterall, isn't it truly just a matter of the he...

I will admit, I don't really understand the true intricacies of how the human body works, but I do know that everything sends a signal back to the brain; the brain is the command center that rules it all. Just the sheer complexity of how the brain knows that we require that initial gasp of air upon exiting the womb, makes me squint  my eyes up in wonderment. To know it's the brain's inherent behavior to keep us breathing without ever having to think about it. Fascinating! I am thankful for this. But what about that last breath? How does the brain know how to take just one final inhale and know an exhale is no longer required?  Upon reading about my mother's condition during her final hours, she most likely went into shock which caused her to become unconscious. Her symptoms were mounting, increasing as hours passed throughout the day. All she knew is that she felt awful, dizzy, bloated, unaware at times, and irritable. Unknown to her were the onset signs of a stomach he...

I have people tell me that they look up to me, that they admire my strength, and tenacity. They see me as a risk-taker and often seek out my advice.  To hear this makes me squirm a little. It baffles me.  Who ARE THEY looking at?!  I certainly do not see myself this way at all.  Sure...I push myself. I make myself do the "scary" stuff that I don't really want to do. Heck, my transformations even shock me sometimes, but I've never seen myself as that strong woman, just as someone who is very different from others. I've never felt like I fit into the norm. I kinda like it that way.  I'm typically pretty hard on myself, and recently discovered that I fall into the category of Type A personality. Yup...fit all the qualities of one. Who knew?  I kinda like this too. However, one of my biggest struggles is with my self image. But after years of hard work, this slowly is changing. I have become comfortable with my environment and where I live. I have been liv...