Victoria Writer's Blog

Dog-earing pages of books has become a simple part of how I read. It has always been something that I've done. Perhaps I did this as a student because I was too lazy to find a bookmark.  In fact, perhaps I continued doing it as an adult because I was too lazy to find a book mark, but no, it turned into something more. It was a method that made the book my own; it showed others that it was well-read and carefully ingested. This is how I do things. This is my way of focusing and showing my concentration. I dog-ear, I highlight, and I mark up with pencil (sometimes in red ink). All of this may drive some people crazy; I care not. I never enjoyed reading much. I am not sure why, yet reflecting back on it now, I think because I was simply an "outdoors kind of girl".  I loved the out-of-doors growing up as a child. I loved the solitude it lent itself to. Tending to be shy, this was perfect for me. With having property that backed up to acres of woods and spending most of my...

People who know and have embraced my uniqueness know that whenever I can I eat with chopsticks. First, it was just for practice; it made me feel "cultured".  I liked holding them. Then, it turned into something more, as passions often do (passion is a strong word...please substitute for obsession ) . And as with many things in my life, a little pair of chopsticks started to represent something more and as I ate my eggs this morning with a pair, it got me thinking about what they represent. First, when I eat with chopsticks, I eat more slowly and with purpose and more thoughtfully and selectively. Precision is required. So, what does this mean?    I can honestly say that I can apply this to my life.  I am using a proverbial pair of chopsticks on life now.    Although I am still practicing the tactful art of slowing down , I feel I have a clear purpose to my actions, hence, precision . I shoot less from the hip and am more thoughtful. I am honing my...

I only realize how protective I am of it when it gets injured even just a tiny bit.  That is all it takes these days...just a tiny bit.  A tiny bit of questioning, a tiny bit of doubt, lots of denial.  All of these things shut that ole ticker down, almost immediately, and ultimately lock it up.  Feels better this way. definitely safer. I am able to wear a smile. I'm good at that.  Questioning Why did this happen? Why did it happen again?  Will it always happen? Why do I think I am stronger than that? I am not. Doubt Always lingering. I'll never find it. The pain will always remain. This will be the last time. I am not worth it. Denial It doesn't hurt. I will be okay. It doesn't hurt. That's what they deserve. It doesn't hurt. I would like to think I get stronger from all of this and that there is a lesson to be learned.  But I feel that because I want something so badly, that I willingly accept the bad and the ugly...then I p...

Sometimes, just sometimes, your prefer the darkness. You like how it feels...actually you don't, but it feels safe. You're protected and you get to decide how long you want to stay there in this darkened space.  You're not depressed per se, it's just comfortable.  For me, it means I am definitely "hiding". I get to and sometimes I just need to.  I think you never reach an age where you stop discovering yourself.  I am in discovery mode still; major discovery me thinks.   I know the light switch is right there on the wall. You know the one. You can reach out for it in the dark and your hand goes right to it every time...no floundering, you just NAIL IT.  And when you are about to flip it up, you prepare yourself. You almost wince and shut your eyes a little even before it comes on...even before you flip it.   I think this represents life, or at least it does for me.  I like the lights off sometimes.  I often crave the darkness. Th...

value (n) - the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. To everyone, value means something different. It's different for the variety of things that it represents (e.g., material things or the intangible).  People place value on their cars, their homes, their sneakers, their parking spaces. Most things are valued in some way shape or form by somebody, but still this value varies from person to person.   Other people tend to value their skill (e.i., talent, gift) or skills which they may have. You know when you are good at something. You like to nurture it, grow it into maturity, and grow from it.   Time. Yup...totally valued. People can be very protective of their time because of it's sheer diminishing nature.  Once it's gone, it's gone. You will never get that moment back.   Spend your time wisely.  Idling away your time may be your personal choice. That simply means that you are p...