Victoria Writer's Blog

  It happens. When we give ourselves so little self-worth and allow ourselves to be treated with little or no respect. Garbage. When we are lied to, mislead, cheated on, and feel mentally trapped in these feelings. Garbage. We eventually convince ourselves that being treated this way is okay. We simply accept it and begin believe this about ourselves, feeling useless and discarded.  Garbage. We begin to speak this message to ourselves. And we convince ourselves that it's alright to have this mindset, that perhaps somehow we are deserving of this label or, this treatment from someone. What a travesty! Who would allow this?! We shouldn't.  I did. This feeling becomes all encompassing; it alters your behavior. It consumes you without you even realizing it. Almost like wearing a fake smile that you unknowingly flash for people all the time, when inside of you the pain is so real that it feels like it's crushing your heart. Afterall, isn't it truly just a matter of the he...

I will admit, I don't really understand the true intricacies of how the human body works, but I do know that everything sends a signal back to the brain; the brain is the command center that rules it all. Just the sheer complexity of how the brain knows that we require that initial gasp of air upon exiting the womb, makes me squint  my eyes up in wonderment. To know it's the brain's inherent behavior to keep us breathing without ever having to think about it. Fascinating! I am thankful for this. But what about that last breath? How does the brain know how to take just one final inhale and know an exhale is no longer required?  Upon reading about my mother's condition during her final hours, she most likely went into shock which caused her to become unconscious. Her symptoms were mounting, increasing as hours passed throughout the day. All she knew is that she felt awful, dizzy, bloated, unaware at times, and irritable. Unknown to her were the onset signs of a stomach he...

I have people tell me that they look up to me, that they admire my strength, and tenacity. They see me as a risk-taker and often seek out my advice.  To hear this makes me squirm a little. It baffles me.  Who ARE THEY looking at?!  I certainly do not see myself this way at all.  Sure...I push myself. I make myself do the "scary" stuff that I don't really want to do. Heck, my transformations even shock me sometimes, but I've never seen myself as that strong woman, just as someone who is very different from others. I've never felt like I fit into the norm. I kinda like it that way.  I'm typically pretty hard on myself, and recently discovered that I fall into the category of Type A personality. Yup...fit all the qualities of one. Who knew?  I kinda like this too. However, one of my biggest struggles is with my self image. But after years of hard work, this slowly is changing. I have become comfortable with my environment and where I live. I have been liv...

Nature fascinates me. Fauna has always piqued my interest. The way plants are able to grow and thrive in specific environments intrigues me want to learn more about them. I love to play the game called Know What That's Called. Annoying, I know! Humans and plants alike are in this manner, we are growing and also planting ourselves in environments that suits us. I  think deeply on these subjects when I have the opportunity to relax, like really relax.  This was the case the other day on a very warm August, Sunday afternoon.  Having relaxed conversation under a weathered trestle that only a few weeks prior was simply covered in a mass of seemingly dead leaves and brown withered, now revealing an abundance of lush greenery bursting to life with delicate tendrils, buzzing bees, amid multiple shades of green.  I don't know for certain what variety of wild grapes they were, but according to the woman who cared for the vines and also the adjacent garden, they ...

I can't say that I am a afraid of insects; I respect them and the job that they do to keep our ecosystem going. You have to; we wouldn't be where we are on this planet without their help to some given degree.  T here are those that definitely creep me out: the ones with shifty compound eyes or a multitude of legs that enable them to scurry away at lightning speed (#centipedes), ya . . .those ones! I don't typically give insects much thought until one crosses my path in a way that I simply have to take notice. Well, this particular midday, she caught my attention: Ms. Queen Bee. She was probably a full three quarter inches in length and plump as can be. As I strode passed my terrace slider door, I noticed her flyin' in particularly close. She darted super close to the screen door, but then took off in the opposite direction, only thing, large as she was, I didn't actually see her fly off into the distance, she just disappeared, vanishing into thin air.  The p...

H ave you ever been to a child's birthday party and there was a pi ñata  hanging from a tree branch in the yard or from a beam inside the garage?  Pi ñatas  simply generate a lively atmosphere where people tend to be more boisterous  and often make fools out of themselves. There's great  anticipation and  excitement in the air and not just from the kids attending the party, but from the adults as well, because you know, you know , they also want the opportunity to take a swing at the colorful, swinging celebration object. What a coveted move to be the lucky one to crack it open! But for me, there is something more intriguing about  p iñatas . Now, truth be told, I've only ever had the opportunity to hit a p iñata once in my lifetime, yet I am about take this fun childhood activity and relate to life (as I so often do) ;  life with it's fears and expectations that we all experience at times. So, here goes my interpretation. The p iñata...

Sometimes you just get in a certain way, right? You know, the mood you can't seem to shake? When everything around you is swirling with heavy "stuff", and you can't seem to escape it or free your mind from it? We've all been there. Sometimes, I find myself just searching for an mental escape route; a retreat of sorts where I can free myself from the negativity and the pressure I often let consume me.   There's too much to do. I can't focus on anything. I don't want to deal with that client right now. I don't want to organize that eyesore of a disorganized bookshelf.  I don't want to learn something new right now.  Why do I keep putting all this junk into my body?  I don't want to call the airline about my flight. I don't have the energy to be that cheerleader (again).  Ya . . . those are just some of the things that put me in one of those moods. Before I continue, let me preface with a statement on my belief of Universal ...