Victoria Writer's Blog

I feel like intuition has been a strong sense for me for many, many years.   I believe in it...stand by it.   I have just recently felt that I need to go with my intuition 100% now. Failing and struggling have brought my intuition into reality.     You know that feeling when you want something so badly and you know you're making mistakes and you know all of your friends are right and you know the pain and the hurt are real, but you don’t stop trying (crying)? Intuition says, “Really, Cindy? Really?”   You wish for things so badly and the moments of contentment are so few.   I was there. But I learned from it; I learned the hard way.     This last time (this past year) of truly trusting my intuition will make me never doubt it again. Hence, I think this is why I am acting so quickly on jumping on board with writing.   My intuition said, "Why the fuck not." I'm excited about. It feels intense. I wept. I trust it.  My intuition brought

 Trying something out of your comfort zone is always scary. Always. Trying something new that is outside the box of what people think is okay or normal , always gets a "look".   But for me, it's what follows.  Their response is either going to be supportive, or unsupportive.    Wreck you, or build you up.   You want family to support you 100%, right? Enter.... reality. Enter...the Green-eyed Monster.   Most are vocal, however, some are not.  Not at all.  It's the silence that, in this case, speaks louder than words.  Silence. To over-dramatize it: "I'm jumping off the cliff now." "Oh...okay."   End of conversation.  Really? Nothing else to say to me? Get thicker skin.  Make the move. Thanks, Non-reactors.  It's been great knowing ya! Too bad you don't know me.   VW

As I get caught up in the swirl of everything that has been happening in my life the past four months, I truly feel the fear dripping off of me.  As I thought about this during my writing of my daily affirmations, I found myself nodding in confirmation regarding the changes I am seeing and feeling in myself...in my true core.    I have less fear.  I have less fear.   Granted, I still worry as much and I continue to endlessly plot and plan, I feel strong about my path.  I think the people who truly know me, see this too. They are excited for my choices and help walk me through ideas that I have.    I only started doing scary things once I knew I had to end my marriage.  Just the thought of that was scary,  the process was scary,  being alone was scary,  going back to school was scary,  traveling to foreign countries was scary,  going to Boston by using the T was scary,  dating was scary,  stocks, tangible coins, crypto are exciting and scary.  

It’s that feeling again.  That antsyness that my true friends know I get.  They call me crazy , but they know me and support me anyway.   I love my friends.  They know when I get quiet that something is brewing. They know by my cryptic postings that something is brewing. One by one they check in.  “What’s going on? What’s new?” they ask tentatively.  I feel them bracing for my new news.   I want to be somewhere else now.  I want to explore the next .  I will be different by choice.  I have known for several years that sitting on my farmer’s porch rocking grandchildren in the home I had for 23 yrs. was not where I ever wanted to be…not what I saw myself doing.  Nope. No thanks. Bigger plans.  ME plans.     STAY TUNED. cdl

aura - the distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person, place, or thing. This has been on my mind for a couple of days now and although I have been adding to the list of topics that I want to share about here and figured I would just work my way down said list, this particular blog trumps the rest at the moment, for there are no rules here.  I make the rules.  Leader Rules.  So, I am writing about the energy that I feel swirling around me right now and how all I can and want to do is open the proverbial door and let it in.  Bring it on! I was in a lull..."stuck" for a few months; a recovery period of sorts. Now I have stumbled on to something new, yet realizing that whatever this is, has been there all along, just below the surface. Maybe like one of those minute splinters that you could not pry out from its lodging in your finger. yet, it was always there; it didn't hurt or even bother and only you knew

So, I nicely procrastinated all day to get myself  here to actually do this blogging thing.  My ultimate question is why, why did it take so long to get here?  Usually when someone is excited about doing something, it goes straight to the top of their priority list. I did this twice today already...jumped on something quickly to avoid doing something else. One, was a trip to the ocean to breathe in the wonderful smells and feel the sting of the breeze (and of course to hear the haunting calls of my fellow seagull friends). The other was to edit for a friend whose ideas seemingly set my wheels into motion. Regardless, I know exactly why it took me so long to get here...FEAR. This is the "unknown", the "wtf", the "who cares, anyway?".  I DO!  I want to be here. I want to do this. I want to feel alive. I WANT TO WRITE MY BOOK.   I love secrets. I am good at keeping them. I love my own secrets, but will begin to reveal them here. This will undoubtedly b