Victoria Writer's Blog

Sometimes appearances don't always ring true. What you see, may not truly be what you get. What if there wasn't Starbucks coffee inside of this Starbucks cup? What if it were Dunkin Donuts coffee? What?! This doesn't necessarily mean that something is "fake", but merely a misconception of what the truth really is. Sometimes, image is everything. Coffee is coffee, right? Lol! We've all heard the old adage, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." It's time to look deeper, folks. Evidence can be found in brand "knock-offs". At a distance, sure, it may look like a Louis Vuitton bag, but up close (sometimes NOT so up close) one can see slight variations from the original product. Knock-offs run the gambit from handbags, scarfs, watches, sneakers, and especially gemstones and jewelry. Is it that necklace really gold? Is that a real  diamond? Again, from a distance it may appear so, but under a trained eye (and often even the untrained e...

I have to admit, there are times for me over the past few months when I have been completely unfocused. Lately, this has become the norm. I have placed myself in the "entrepreneurial trench", and trust me, there's a lot going on down here! Even though with an image of a trench, one  conjures up thoughts of solitude and isolation, I did not realize how much the outside world would effect my little world down in this proverbial trench...until it did.  I am not only am I working on myself and accepting the changes to myself as they appear, but overall, I am working for change and growth in others apart from me outside my trench. I am working so hard in my little space down here, so that ultimately my "work" touches, shifts, and positively impacts those who need it in my present circle and beyond. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, being in the trenches means a place or situation where people do difficult work. Ya...that would be it; that would also be the Vic...

Did you ever take a good long look at a tree?  Like a really long look?  In trees like the American Oak (there are over two dozen varieties of oak, btw) it almost seems as if their branches defy gravity. How did they get that strong to just grow out horizontally and stay like that for their lifetime?  I'm a nature girl, so I notice these things.  I like to lie down under trees and look up (see inserted photo taken in Burlington, VT at Lake Champlain a few years back). Mother Nature is amazing; I feel blessed to be able to enjoy all that she places in my path. Back to the tree thing. I often run my fingers along tree trunks when I have the opportunity. I am also super tactile and I connect better when I touch. I believe on some level that it helps me understand the world around me better.  The point I am wanting to share with you in regard to tree branches is that not only do they demonstrate strength, but they grow in the manner that allows them to be able...

 I'm not proud to say that this has been an ongoing issue with me...this "putting up a wall thing". However, I am proud to say that I now recognize this about myself and that's a superb start.  As I began to dig deeper into myself over the past eight months and become more connected spiritually with God and also the Universe, I began constructing a whole new type of wall; a transparent one! People (friends and family) could see my actions and my day-to-day, but heavily-weighted opinions were no longer being accepted. Afterall, was my journey, my life.  I began to grow more confident, knowing that my choices in life were solely mine to make. They did not need to be explained to people, or justified. What I was doing was for the betterment of me . . . just  me. I could do this on my own, but if I needed assistance, opinion, or direction, I knew where to turn ( those resources have also shifted).  And no, that doesn't make me selfish; it just mean that I'm now be...

  It happens. When we give ourselves so little self-worth and allow ourselves to be treated with little or no respect. Garbage. When we are lied to, mislead, cheated on, and feel mentally trapped in these feelings. Garbage. We eventually convince ourselves that being treated this way is okay. We simply accept it and begin believe this about ourselves, feeling useless and discarded.  Garbage. We begin to speak this message to ourselves. And we convince ourselves that it's alright to have this mindset, that perhaps somehow we are deserving of this label or, this treatment from someone. What a travesty! Who would allow this?! We shouldn't.  I did. This feeling becomes all encompassing; it alters your behavior. It consumes you without you even realizing it. Almost like wearing a fake smile that you unknowingly flash for people all the time, when inside of you the pain is so real that it feels like it's crushing your heart. Afterall, isn't it truly just a matter of the he...

I will admit, I don't really understand the true intricacies of how the human body works, but I do know that everything sends a signal back to the brain; the brain is the command center that rules it all. Just the sheer complexity of how the brain knows that we require that initial gasp of air upon exiting the womb, makes me squint  my eyes up in wonderment. To know it's the brain's inherent behavior to keep us breathing without ever having to think about it. Fascinating! I am thankful for this. But what about that last breath? How does the brain know how to take just one final inhale and know an exhale is no longer required?  Upon reading about my mother's condition during her final hours, she most likely went into shock which caused her to become unconscious. Her symptoms were mounting, increasing as hours passed throughout the day. All she knew is that she felt awful, dizzy, bloated, unaware at times, and irritable. Unknown to her were the onset signs of a stomach he...

I have people tell me that they look up to me, that they admire my strength, and tenacity. They see me as a risk-taker and often seek out my advice.  To hear this makes me squirm a little. It baffles me.  Who ARE THEY looking at?!  I certainly do not see myself this way at all.  Sure...I push myself. I make myself do the "scary" stuff that I don't really want to do. Heck, my transformations even shock me sometimes, but I've never seen myself as that strong woman, just as someone who is very different from others. I've never felt like I fit into the norm. I kinda like it that way.  I'm typically pretty hard on myself, and recently discovered that I fall into the category of Type A personality. Yup...fit all the qualities of one. Who knew?  I kinda like this too. However, one of my biggest struggles is with my self image. But after years of hard work, this slowly is changing. I have become comfortable with my environment and where I live. I have been liv...

Nature fascinates me. Fauna has always piqued my interest. The way plants are able to grow and thrive in specific environments intrigues me want to learn more about them. I love to play the game called Know What That's Called. Annoying, I know! Humans and plants alike are in this manner, we are growing and also planting ourselves in environments that suits us. I  think deeply on these subjects when I have the opportunity to relax, like really relax.  This was the case the other day on a very warm August, Sunday afternoon.  Having relaxed conversation under a weathered trestle that only a few weeks prior was simply covered in a mass of seemingly dead leaves and brown withered, now revealing an abundance of lush greenery bursting to life with delicate tendrils, buzzing bees, amid multiple shades of green.  I don't know for certain what variety of wild grapes they were, but according to the woman who cared for the vines and also the adjacent garden, they ...

I can't say that I am a afraid of insects; I respect them and the job that they do to keep our ecosystem going. You have to; we wouldn't be where we are on this planet without their help to some given degree.  T here are those that definitely creep me out: the ones with shifty compound eyes or a multitude of legs that enable them to scurry away at lightning speed (#centipedes), ya . . .those ones! I don't typically give insects much thought until one crosses my path in a way that I simply have to take notice. Well, this particular midday, she caught my attention: Ms. Queen Bee. She was probably a full three quarter inches in length and plump as can be. As I strode passed my terrace slider door, I noticed her flyin' in particularly close. She darted super close to the screen door, but then took off in the opposite direction, only thing, large as she was, I didn't actually see her fly off into the distance, she just disappeared, vanishing into thin air.  The p...

H ave you ever been to a child's birthday party and there was a pi ñata  hanging from a tree branch in the yard or from a beam inside the garage?  Pi ñatas  simply generate a lively atmosphere where people tend to be more boisterous  and often make fools out of themselves. There's great  anticipation and  excitement in the air and not just from the kids attending the party, but from the adults as well, because you know, you know , they also want the opportunity to take a swing at the colorful, swinging celebration object. What a coveted move to be the lucky one to crack it open! But for me, there is something more intriguing about  p iñatas . Now, truth be told, I've only ever had the opportunity to hit a p iñata once in my lifetime, yet I am about take this fun childhood activity and relate to life (as I so often do) ;  life with it's fears and expectations that we all experience at times. So, here goes my interpretation. The p iñata...

Sometimes you just get in a certain way, right? You know, the mood you can't seem to shake? When everything around you is swirling with heavy "stuff", and you can't seem to escape it or free your mind from it? We've all been there. Sometimes, I find myself just searching for an mental escape route; a retreat of sorts where I can free myself from the negativity and the pressure I often let consume me.   There's too much to do. I can't focus on anything. I don't want to deal with that client right now. I don't want to organize that eyesore of a disorganized bookshelf.  I don't want to learn something new right now.  Why do I keep putting all this junk into my body?  I don't want to call the airline about my flight. I don't have the energy to be that cheerleader (again).  Ya . . . those are just some of the things that put me in one of those moods. Before I continue, let me preface with a statement on my belief of Universal ...

W hen I think about hitting the  jackpot, I think of slot machines with shiny tokens cascading into a large plastic cup that bears a colorful casino logo. I think about the thrill that comes from the unexpected surprise of releasing that lever, having it bounce back, and witnessing the magic as it begins. Oh, the sheer magic of the flashing lights and comical music.  You often see slot machine players squirming in their seats, even flying out of them to perform some form of "happy dance" accompanied by whoops of resounding joy. They are truly  feeling lucky in all sense of the word. And that's just all due to tokens flying out of a  brightly-painted,  man-made gambling machine.  Imagine, just imagine, if this concept was applied on a more personal level. Imagine if YOU were considered the jackpot . Imagine if someone saw YOU as the lucky set of matching pairs, the shiny token, the flashing neon light, the reason to do the happy dance. Wow!! Could thi...

I believe, knowing your self-worth comes with age. There are the lessons we learn in life through our academic studies that help us grow mentally and expand our thinking. Ultimately, it's these lessons which help us progress in life by making our goals achievable.We never have to stop learning and growing. Self-worth, however, is something which comes from within and is the key component to who we are. It's important to be clear on what self-worth actually is. You need to see the value that you have within you and respect that value. Make sure you truly love yourself. This is something  I am still learning how to do. In fact, I think I never truly loved, nor respected myself fully until a few years ago. I see my self-worth more clearly now and even though it's hard at times, I try my best to uphold the value that I know I deserve. When I do "give in", I see it as a learning lesson and try not to beat myself up too much over it. I have come to trust mys...

Making a wide-sweeping comparison here...ready? Yoga and editing. At the moment, the latter is more prevalent in my life. However, it wasn't until recently that I realized I seemed to have a history of inadvertently doing the more challenging obstacle first, followed up by something in the same vein, yet less challenging. I took this very action when it came to introducing myself to yoga. I thought I would try Bikram yoga first. It was the craze several years ago and I wanted to be healthier and kinder to my body. I had been boxing for about a year and was just recovering from six month injury; I was fearful of hitting the bag again, and having the same arduous healing process.  A Bikram yoga class is 90 minutes in length and in a room heated at 104 ° F. I had no idea and in my first class, I could only keep my breath steady while laying flat on the floor, where the temperature was cooler. It was a bit of a shock, yet I became addicted to it, and found myself in the stud...

moat / mōt / noun noun: moat ; plural noun: moats 1. a deep, wide ditch surrounding a castle, ort, or town, typically filled with water and intended as a defense against attack. I protect what I have with intense, unmatched ferocity. What I see in my life as needing personal protection against attack are my family, my hard-earned skill sets, and my heart .  A vision that comes to mind when I reflect on the level of how I protect what is important to me is one of warding off a bear attack.  Me: 5'2" Bear: 8'5"  Would I put myself directly in harms way if my family were at risk? Absolutely! I would, however, take all measures to not find myself in a situation such as that (that is where the moat comes in). Actually, you will probably never find me camping in the middle of the Adirondacks cooking steaks on a grill deep in bear country. But I would take whatever steps are necessary to protect what is critically important to me if a b...

My eyes are green. In truth, actually, they're hazel, but they may appear green at times because the melanin in the iris changes. I think it's cool when my eyes turn green; I embrace this feature about me.This usually occurs when I've consumed a bit too much alcohol to drink. Yes, this is when my eyes will inevitably turn bright green. I take note of this if I am out and will always make a point to check in the restroom mirror, just to confirm my green-eyed "happiness". I always smile when I see my reflection staring back at me. My eyes also turn bright green when I cry. Maybe the saline in the tears affects the melanin? I don't know, nor does it matter. It's just simply a thing that happens. Otherwise, they're just plain hazel (i.e., a mixture of green and brown). Many have heard the saying " green-eyed monster " when referring to jealousy. The idiom dates back to the 16th century to the time William Shakespeare's Othello . Over...

  WATCH YOUR STEP!   I feel like I am under construction.   There's a lot changing around here.Walls are coming down, structures going up, tools being wielded; basically, there is controlled chaos. I love it ! I have shared with several friends recently that I have felt like something is happening with me. I have felt different, and I can't explain why or what it is exactly. I have been feeling an inner strength, but also overwhelmed and vulnerable at the same time. Well, bring it on, Universe! I am more than ready! I feel the Universe is definitely in charge, but I am the one who needs to have the plan ready to set forth. I feel that I do.  I have a plan for my future which becomes clearer with every approaching day. I am taking my time and slowly putting my thoughts ans words into action. The planning itself is tedious and solitary, for I am the only one with the blueprint; it's all in my head only. There is lots of scrapping and starting again....

The ocean represents unfathomable vastness. The shear power that it possesses and its unpredictability frightens me, yet at the same time, it completely fascinates me.   A calmness washes over me w hen I can safely view the ocean from a distance. Physically being on the ocean is a totally different thing; it is something I do not relish.  That's the irony, right there: intensely drawn to something, yet so very wary of it. What's with that?  Why does this issue even exists for me? I don't recall anything bad ever happening to me when I was little in regard to water. Growing up, we hardly ever went to the beach, and hence, explains my lack of enthusiasm for the ocean for most of my life. Now that I have more control over my life and my actions. I am finding that the ocean is what I need most to settle me. Maybe this explains why I crave to be near it now. I love being near the ocean and now live within two miles from it. I can smell the ocean in the air on most day...

My senses have come alive the past few years, and I have been fortunate enough to recognize synchronicity with others who represent a strong place holder in my life. This feeling makes me feel solid and secure, so much so that I crave the feeling of synchronicity.  The most amazing thing for me is when I recognize it and do that proverbial head nod, and even at times utter a faint, "Wow".  Amazing how life works. I sometimes feel that I am being guided into people's lives. I have made several "fast friends" lately since I have been closer to the ocean.  It is here that I have felt me strongest AND my weakest.  Amazing! The flip-side for me here is when I feel something that I can't explain. An in-sync person gone topsy-turvy. This flips my ass into a highly emotion state; I become not myself and I hate that! I need to fix things. I need to understand. I need honesty. I feel it in my core when I am out of sync. I look for moon cycles. I look for mood cycl...

Working on jigsaw puzzles was always a favorite pastime of mine thanks to my Nana. The atmosphere was serene and yet the "work" was intense, and you know what I mean by that if you are a puzzle doer!   You simply could not walk away; you just wanted to try to find one more piece to triumphantly insert. Puzzles drew me in, made me feel engaged, and like being pulled into an amazing book, puzzles brought be to a sort of Zen place.  As with other blogs, I found myself discussing a topic with a good friend and when I literally stated out load, "Man...that sounds like a blog." So, here it is: life is like a jigsaw puzzle . Why, you ask?  I think because I enjoy jigsaw puzzles so much from start to finish, that I can easily see each aspect of  the process as a step in my life's journey. 1. Picking out the ideal puzzle. I equate this to picking out the perfect partner. You search at length for something that is appealing to the eye, challenging, but not so m...